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Dating Tips
Q&A:
How To Act When A Woman Likes
You
-By David DeAngelo, Author
Of “Double Your
Dating”
***QUESTION FROM A
READER***
Dave,
I've become a very generous guy
lately. To all my male friends, I'm
giving them the gift of your
newsletter. To all my females, I'm
giving the gift of missing me.
I'm a recovering wuss. I took a few
months off of women and worked on my inner
game, with great results. I've
started talking to new women again, along
with old girlfriends. I find that
when the c/f (Cocky & Funny) starts
rolling, or even just my newfound
confidence, I often get a lot of
compliments. What's the best way to
deal with a girl coming out and saying “oh,
you're so cute/funny/etc...”? Should I
ignore it and keep the c/f going?
Should I address it in a cocky way?
I'm assuming that graciously accepting the
compliment is never the right answer...
What would you say to a girl who
compliments you directly? (other than “Do
you do third input?”) What would your
tone/body language/eye contact be like?
-J.M.
>From new hampshire, where men are men,
women are few, and sheep are nervous.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, this really is a great
question.
One of the most important things to
understand as a man is what to do when
things are WORKING... so you don't SCREW IT
UP!
If you use the materials that you're
learning from me, you will start to have a
magical thing happen more and more often...
women will start to do and say things that
clearly indicate that they LIKE you.
Sometimes it will be a touch, sometimes a
compliment, and sometimes a smile. But
these things WILL happen more and more as
you get better and better.
I always laugh to myself when I bust a
woman's chops really hard, and she laughs
and says “You're so funny!” or “You really
are good!” etc.
I still shake my head and wonder why the
hell it took me so long to figure this
stuff out.
But I digress... you know, while I'm
digressing, what's with you ending your
email with:
“>From new hampshire, where men are men,
women are few, and sheep are nervous.”
...?!
This is probably the third or fourth time
that I've seen this at the end of an
email.
Tell me the truth... do chicks dig
this?
You're making me nervous, man. Keep the
sheep talk on the DL, OK?
Uncool.
Now, when a woman does something that
signals “I like you”, it is VITALLY
important that you:
1) Know how to recognize it
2) DON'T do what MOST guys do
3) DO the right thing, and AMPLIFY it
So how can you tell if a woman is doing
something that says “I like you”?
Well, it's VERY important to remember that
women are far more “subtle” than men (most
of the time, that is).
If a man is interested in a woman, you can
see it all over his face. It's usually very
obvious.
But women are different.
Women do SMALL things.
A little touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a
comment like “You're so cute” (as in your
example above).
But then IT'S GONE.
Women always seem to act like they're not
quite sure.
They don't send consistent signals that
most men can “read”.
And when they DO send signals that are easy
to see, most guys respond in a way that
makes those signals stop...which makes
things even MORE confusing.
Again, women aren't as CONSISTENT as
men.
A woman can seem like she's interested one
minute, then stand-offish the next.
So rule #1 is:
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DOING SOMETHING THAT
SAYS “I LIKE YOU”, DON'T THINK THAT IT
MEANS “I LIKE YOU NO MATTER WHAT”.
Much better to interpret subtle “I like
you” cues as “I like you for a second, but
if you start acting like a Wuss Bag or Dumb
Ass, it will all be over in an
instant”.
Unfortunately for most guys, they take “I
like you” signals to mean “You've won my
approval, now you can do whatever you
want”.
And what do they do? Of course...
They turn into dorks, say or do a few
stupid things, and destroy it all.
Oh, how many times I've watched guys
(myself included) screw up perfectly good
situations because they just didn't get
this concept.
Let me give you an example.
Let's say that you're out with a woman, and
you've been teasing her, and she smiles and
says “I like you”.
A typical “male” response is for a guy to
think to himself “OK, I'm in... she digs
me” and to get that rush in the head and
chest.
Next thing you know, he's acting
different.
He's talking about different things.
He's giving compliments.
He's being “nicer”.
And what's the woman thinking while this is
all going on? Of course... she's thinking
“Uh oh, his cool, calm, interesting
personality was just a cover for the secret
inner-Wuss that was hiding out, waiting for
a little bit of approval from me...
AHHHHHH!”
Women KNOW that they're in control of the
situation. Or at least MOST of the time
they are... and they THINK that they are
even during the times when they're not.
They're constantly using different kinds of
communication to test and “feel out” the
situation.
Remember, MOST of the time when you're
saying something that you think is nice,
charming, and original, it's something that
a woman has heard about 47 times that week
from other guys.
Us guys act VERY predictably most of the
time.
And women know how to tell if you're just
another loser who's pretending to be
cool... who will turn into an average Wuss
at the first sign of attraction from a cute
woman.
Think about what I just said.
This is hard for a lot of guys to
swallow... but it's the reality of the
situation.
There's something that women call “Sexual
Tension”. It's also known as “Chemistry” or
“Attraction” as well. But only WOMEN know
it this way.
When you tease a woman, make her laugh,
play hard to get with her, act
unpredictably, etc. in the right way, you
will create this tension. This is what
usually leads to a woman saying something
like “You're cute” or “I like you”.
It's the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and
SAY it.
THE TENSION!
In these very special moments, you need to
turn the tension UP. Dial it up. AMPLIFY
it.
Don't diffuse it all by saying “You're cute
yourself” or “I like you, too”. Or by
smiling like a jackass wussy dork who has
just seen his first rainbow.
This kind of thing RELEASES the tension,
and it usually takes that wonderful
electric attraction feeling that the woman
is feeling and INSTANTLY kills it.
Does this make logical sense?
Hell no.
But it's what happens.
OK, so let's talk about the RIGHT way to
handle this type of situation.
Remember when I said that it's the TENSION
that makes a woman feel the feelings and
make the comments?
And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you're
getting a positive response?
Nice.
Once upon a time, there was a scene in a
movie that illustrated this concept
PERFECTLY.
In fact, it might be the all-time greatest
example of this principle that has ever
been recorded on film.
Remember the end of “The Empire Strikes
Back” when they were about to put Han Solo
into the deep freeze?
Remember when Leia said “I love
you”...?
Remember what Han said?
Right, he said... “I know”.
Perfect.
All of the sexual tension that built up in
Star Wars and Empire culminated in Leia
confessing her love.
And Han says “I know”.
Awesome!
Imagine being Leia. What could be going
through her mind at this point?
An answer like this isn't easy to
understand. It has all kinds of
implications.
It's confusing.
It says “I know you love me, because it's
been obvious for a long time...”. But it
doesn't let HER know how he feels exactly.
It requires consideration. It dials up the
tension. It's amazing.
By the way, I read that when they were
filming that scene Han was supposed to
answer “I love you too”, but the director
didn't like it. They tried all kinds of
things, and in the end Harrison Ford made
up that line on the spot in one of the
takes... and they kept it. Nice.
By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the
newer movies in the Star Wars series suck
is because there is no character like
Han... think about it. It's all boring,
predictable stuff. There's no sexy,
arrogant, funny, wildcard personality
messing things up.
Like I pointed out after I saw “Attack Of
The Clones”, Anakin had to kill an ENTIRE
VILLAGE of Sand People just to convince
Princess A. that he wasn't a complete and
total Wuss. Would have been so much easier
and more entertaining if he would have just
had a PERSONALITY.
Whatever.
Now where was I...?
Oh, yea... amplifying the sexual
tension...
If you're out with a woman, and you tease
her because she's wearing four inch heels
by saying “What's the deal, are you four
feet tall without those one?”, and she
opens her mouth with the classic “Oh no you
didn't” look (smiling of course, with that
surprised smile)... and you dial it up to
the next level with “Oh, I'm sorry...Four
foot three?”... and she hits you on the
arm...
...and then she stops, puts her hand on
your arm, and says “You know, you're
funny”...
...what do you do?
YOU SAY “YEA, I KNOW” - in a serious
tone.
Or “Don't try to use compliments to make me
like you. It won't work. Go buy me a drink
or something... I prefer gifts and
money.”
Or look down at her hand on your arm, lean
back slightly, turn your head, and put your
eyebrows together as if to say “Just WHAT
do you think you're doing touching
me?!”.
TURN IT UP, my friend!
You TURN UP the tension.
AMPLIFY it.
Keep it going.
If you keep amplifying the tension and
attraction at each of these wonderful
moments, good things will happen.
Good stuff.
OK, I have a question.
Want more killer ideas like this one?
What if I told you that there was a place
you could go and download an eBook that
contained literally DOZENS and DOZENS of
great ideas like this one?
Well, there is. Of course, it's my eBook
“Double Your Dating”. Inside, you'll learn
about all of my personal favorite
techniques for dealing with all kinds of
situations with women.
This might sound a little strange, but I
actually read my own book to brush up on
concepts, and remind myself of how to
handle different situations. It took me a
few years to learn, test, refine, and
organize all of the awesome techniques that
are included, and you'll understand why I
speak so highly of it when you go and get a
copy.
It's here... you can download it and be
reading it in a few minutes. And while your
at it, be sure to sign up for my free
newsletter for more great tips:
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____________________________________________________
David DeAngelo is
the author of “Double Your Dating
- What Every Man Should Know
About How To Be Successful With
Women”, and has taught thousands
of men how to be more successful with
women and dating.
_________________________________________________________________
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